[Disclaimer- I really like Korea, it's people, it's food, it's
traditions. So if something offends you, take a deep breath, relax, and
don't write me any angry emails. Also I'm not trying to show off saying
I know loads about Korea, I know I know nothing]
E is for...
Etiquette-
It's a frigging minefield I tells ya. Here's a quick list of things
that are fine:
Snorting phlegm into your throat and spitting it on the street
Telling a friend they're getting fat
Asking someone you've just met how old they are and how much they
earn
Getting into a taxi that someone else is already in, travelling
part of the way and paying for however much the fare would've been, an
amount which doesn't then get taken off the other passengers fare
Knocking people out of the way in queues if you're older than
them
Now here's a quick list of things that are considered rude / generally
out of order
Kissing your boy/girlfriend in public (or even holding hands if
we're going to be particular about it)
Blowing your nose, especially while eating (probably spicy) food
Pouring yourself a drink when out with other people
Handing over money with one hand
Leaving chopsticks pointing upwards in a bowl
Now to be fair, these things aren't really 'weird' once you understand
what each one of them's about- [i.e. mostly respect for other people,
the chopsticks in a bowl looks like the incense you burn at a funeral],
but it can sometimes be pretty easy to offend people whilst having no
idea why.
Luckily
most korean people will just shrug it off as either, just foreigners,
just foreigners
being weird, just foreigners being ignorant, or the whole country going
to
rack and ruin- youngsters today have no respect (blah blah blah).
F is for...
F--- all-
There is no 'F' sound in the Korean alphabet, so they switch the 'P'
sound, coffe is pronounce "Kop-ee" and French Fries is "Puh-Rench-uh,
Pu-Rise-uh" (see also Ajoshi).
Family-
Levels of family in korean culture are defined in these blood ranks
that for some reason I think are great:
1-chon is the tie between you and your Mum or Dad
/ son or daughter,
2-chon is between you and your brother or sister,
i.e. your 1-Chon's (Mum's) 1-Chon (son)
3-chon is between you and your brother or sister's
kids, (your 2-Chon's 1-Chon) or you and your Dad's brother or sister
(your 1-Chon's 2-Chon)
4-chon well this could be your 3-chon (e.g.
aunty's) kids.
It reminds of the film (which I haven't seen) "6 Degrees Of
Separation", except the degrees of separation have to be solid blood
ties.
Having said all that though, it turns out that's only a bit of the
story, if you're talking about your Mum's side of the family, then
depending on whether it's a male or female relative, and whether
they're married you have to call them- hang on, where have you gone?
I'm in the middle of explaining something, you can't just go to another
website...<cut>
When my friend Eonmi got married I asked her about talking to her
in-laws with all this kind of stuff, and from what I can tell you have
to take the gender of who everyou're talking to, how old they are, how
married they are, who they're married to and how old they are, feed it
into a massive computer and just see what comes out of the other side.
Films-
The government enforces a minimum quota on the number of Korean films
that have to be shown in the cinemas, but in the last few years
homegrown films have become so popular that the quota is being exceeded
anyway, the korean flicks have got 50% of the market anyway just based
on what people want to see. Not really surpising if you check out the
quality of the best korean films.
Going to the cinema is so popular that on Sundays you can pretty much
forget about just turning up and buying a ticket for a newish film-
you've got to book ahead. I've seen ajummas standing
outside the cinema touting (scalping) tickets outside the really
popular cinemas.
As far as I know, when korean films are shown in the cinema they don't
feel the need to put english subtitles on them (it would an overkill
since from
my experience your average audience would probably only include 1 or 2
foreigners) but english (OK, american) films of course have korean
subs. I've been told at the box office that a particular film was
dubbed into korean, sounds unlikely, and I might have misunderstood
what they were saying, but then again it was one of those "Harry
Potter" jobs and I don't know how many 6 year old kids would be happy
to sit through a subtitled film.
G is for...
Golf-
I just don't understand why golf is so popular all over the world. You
have to dress in clothes that the guy from OutKast would reject as a
bit tasteless, spend half an hour messing around deciding which club to
use, how fast the wind's blowing, what phase the moon is in, then
there's 0.23 seconds of actually hitting a ball before you have to
trudge off for half a mile to find out where it went.
Anyway, Koreans love golf, but as you might expect, land in Seoul is
very expensive and frankly there's just no room for a golf
course. You could always drive 2 hours to the nearest course where
you'll pay 300,000 won for a round, or join scores of people dressed
like colour-blind clowns hitting balls into a net at multi-storey
driving ranges all over the city. Or you could just sort yourself out.
H is for...
Hong Kong-
A great Korean slang phrase, if you "Take a girl to Hong-Kong" she's
bound to enjoy the trip. But beware, you might think you've taken her
there, but in fact she's still at the airport checking her watch.
As in that scene from "When Harry Met Sally". You know what I'm saying
Handphone-
I.e. a mobile/cell phone- if there's anyone in Korea who doesn't own
one, I've yet to meet them (and that includes the monks at a Buddhist
temple). You know a korean girl's really drunk if she
goes to the toilet and forgets to take her phone.
Back in England I was pretty careful about giving people my mobile
phone number, it's basically giving someone the power to wake you up at
7am on a Saturday morning, but here you're expected to print it up loud
and proud on the business cards people hand out like confetti. Rather
them than me "I'm sorry, I don't know my own
number. Yes I am that stupid".
Handphone Accessory
A little charm on the end of a bit of string that you tie onto your
handphone. Serves no purpose whatsoever but everybody does it and you
can get them in the shape of robots. (Have a quick look here for mine, but
close the window afterwards or weird things will start to happen).
